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Friday, August 9, 2013

To Set The Record Straight.

Marriage is a lovely thing.
It's about being married to the right person & being willing to work things out when things aren't going so smoothly.
Now I've tried to steer clear from the marriage posts for a while now because I don't think everyone needs to read about anyones marriage ups & downs, problems or no-problems, sex life etc..
But on the other hand, I really do appreciate someone else's post that is completely honest and open about different marriage issues, ups, downs, etc..
I guess I'm writing this post to set the record straight.
I have too many blogs I read that portray a lovely perfect life..
The perfect house, the perfect vacations, the perfect romantic date nights week after week after week, the perfect gifts, the perfect love life.. you get the point.
I call total BS on a small portion of these posts.
This is NOT me saying these people are not happy..

Let me explain.
I was doing my usual morning routine spending way too much time scanning and reading blog posts, when I came across the most sincere post I've read in a long time.
This girl wrote about how she reads these "perfect life" blog posts & was so discouraged about her own life now. She said she didn't know if she married THE ONE because every one elses husbands were showering them with gifts, cooking them dinner every night and continuously having romantic date nights every week. This girl has kids at home and was also thinking she was worlds worst mom because she wasn't feeding her children organic meals three times a day. Her kids liked pbj's and Cheetos occasionally. Then to add to the list, she's not crafty at all so something MUST be wrong with her. RIGHT??
No. So. So. Wrong! My heart absolutely broke for her.
Then I continued by writing the longest comment in blog comment history.
You are not perfect!
Now. I am happy with my life & the choices that I've made.
But that does not mean I have a perfect life.
If it were up to me, I'd never have to go to the gym, I'd eat donuts, ice cream & brownies for breakfast, lunch & dinner, I would have graduated a LONG time ago, I'd be making the big bucks doing what I love, I'd live in a perfect house with a white picket fence on the perfect street lined with big trees, neighbor kids, tire swings & happy barking dogs. I'd cook gourmet homemade meals every night from scratch that looked like Martha Stewart was visiting.. I'd have kids already that never cried or whined (HA), I'd have unlimited amount of money in my bank account & my closet would be lined with every outfit on Pinterest.
haha awesome right??
Instead, Spencer & I are both in school, living in an apartment paying waaay too much for rent, being careful with what groceries we buy and eating top ramen for dinner, no kids, bunny sometimes pees on the carpet, we both have cars that are on their last leg of the race, and quite frankly after a year and a half of marriage, we are still trying to figure each other out. But we DO have perfect days. We DO have fun vacations together & we DO spend quality time together playing games, going to concerts and getting snow cones together rather than going out for fancy dress up date nights week after week.
Because when it comes down to it, I love trying to make it as a poor newlywed couple.
Of course we fight. Sometimes I'm grumpy for no reason, sometimes we scream, sometimes I swear, slam doors & even leave the house. But at the end of the day, we always want to work things out, apologize & try harder next time.
And that is the most important thing. 
Go ahead and judge as you please, I refuse to write a post about a perfect marriage and perfect life because I do not have one. And I really don't believe you do either.
Marriage is tough, living with someone else and adjusting to their habits is tough too. 
But it is so much fun and SO so worth it. Life is about loving what you have and making the best out of your situations. I do love my life. It certainly is not perfect.
But I love it and all it's imperfections because those imperfections help us grow.
In a blogging world portraying perfect lives in perfect homes,
Just remember that behind those beautiful home doors there are families with imperfections
And that, is what's so wonderful about being human.



  1. love you. love this.
    being single i read these perfect posts and wonder if I will ever find THAT. but the reality is NO. no one is perfect, no relationship is perfect. I know...I have been in them enough times to know it's never perfect all the time. But you are right...there are PERFECT DAYS!


  2. AMEN AMEN & AMEN. (i want to say more, but seriously you SAID IT ALL!) loveyoumuffin.

  3. I am totally in love with your honest portrayal. Blogland is fantasy land in a way because the vast majority of the time people don't blog about their fights, their ugly outfits (aka the hairy yoga pants I wear around the house all evening) or their bad hair days. People like to talk about the positive which is great in someways (I don't want to listen to someone whining all day long...that's what facebook is for right?!) but on the same note it can be really disheartening as you start to see your own life in a not so perfect light. It's all about perspective and I think your post can give all of us some of that!

  4. Preach it, sister!! We just made it to a year in July and although we've been blessed we certainly don't have the perfect life! Besides, I think posting about the imperfections is the good stuff, the real stuff, and usually, the funniest stuff :)

  5. I agree fully. Outta respect for my honey and the sanctity of our marriage, I don't go into specific detail about a specific fight, but I will talk about being sad or things not being great between us every now and then.

    Marriage obviously isn't perfect and I love that we are growing together as a couple and making a life together instead of individual lives side by side.

  6. If I liked your blog before... now I LOVE IT! It is so true! I've been married for almost eight years, and I feel the same way about certain blogs and call their BS. And then, because I'm silly, I throw a "what am I doing wrong?" in the mix. Just because. But I totally recognize that no marriage is perfect, that it takes a butt load of work, especially for us, because we make this commitment for eternity! And we fight, we scream, we point fingers, we slam doors, we don't talk for a while... and then we hug, we talk, we apologize, and move on. Because it's worth it, because even if we broke up and looked for someone else, we'd still have the same struggles! Whoever thinks that marriage doesn't take work or effort, is delusional. And whoever thinks that divorce is the answer to daily bickering, is fooling himself/herself.

    I love this post. And I think we all should call it what it is instead of putting on this online facade of perfection that we ALL know is not true.

    Goof for you for standing up for what you think and feel about it! I'm with ya!

    Ana Paula
    {Visit me at Mommyhood, PhD}

  7. AMEN. I have nothing to add - I think you definitely covered this subject'!!

  8. Giiirrrrrllll we've exchanged comments in the past from me writing a post insanely similar to the blog post you are talking about up ^ there! And after almost a year of writing that post I'm still not 100% sure on my marriage! Sure I love KC but sometimes I don't know if I am IN LOVE with KC anymore and that's no one else's problem but mine and KC's and we're working on our issues. I HATE when bloggers make their life out to be absolutely perfect because no relationship is like that and us as women compare ourselves too much. I love you for writing this post, darlin'! You go girl - shout it from the rooftops!

  9. Girl I completely agree with you! I'm telling Dallin ALL of the time about girls who are always going on vacations and have new clothes every single week! And it's true, you see so many posts that are always "perfect", that's why I decided to do a post about my burn on my face. Why wouldn't I share that? Hiding that just means I'm ashamed to put something that I truly am. If that makes sense? Haha Miss you by the way! We should do something soon!


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