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Monday, September 1, 2014

Feeling Sentimental

Last night after Mackson and Spencer were both in bed I laid awake at midnight and was feeling so sentimental. August was the most eventful, wild month of my entire life. I've never experienced so many ups and downs as I did over the course of the last month. 

From having my membranes stripped, to welcoming baby into this big overwhelming world, long sleepy days, and short nights, figuring out breastfeeding, hundreds and hundreds of feedings, a circumcision gone wrong, 4 trips to the ER, one long night at Primary Children's Hospital, a rough battle with Mastitis, being patient with a post-baby body, having problems with my stitches, hearing from the dr that my abdomen wall tore, healing from a level 3 tear, getting a horrible post-pregnancy rash, sending Spencer out of town for work.... The list goes on and on of the many eventful things that August brought. Despite all of the craziness, I didn't want August to end. 

Last night it took almost 2 hours to calm down Mack. 2 hours of screaming and crying and the saddest little face that's enough to melt your heart. Spencer held him, rocked him, walked the halls with him and nothing was working. I finally took Mack and started walking down the hall as we made eye contact and for a minute he stopped crying. He was quiet for the first time in hours and just grinned his big gummy smile like he trusted me and things would be okay. 

I've never been so drained, so exhausted, so discouraged and so tested as I have the last month. But I've also never been more proud, so happy, so encouraged, and I've certainly never felt a stronger love for another human being. 

As I'm having a hard time letting go of August, Today I'm taking a deep breath and welcoming September. It means I'm one month closer to going back to work but I'll be welcoming lots of new adventures, a crazy schedule with Spencer in school, I'll have a month old baby and I'll be wondering where the time goes. I don't feel ready for September but I guess I don't really have much of a choice.

September, please be good to me. 

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Mackson's Birth Story

 Well, I can officially say I've missed the blogging world for the last few weeks. To say I've been busy with a baby is true, but the fact is we haven't had Internet at our place so blogging has been nearly impossible. I'm loving motherhood and I can't believe I have a THREE WEEK old baby! I've been excited to share Mackson's Birth Story with y'all!

My due date was July 28th and baby still hadn't come. I treated myself to having my hair done and bought a Solly Wrap (LOVE IT!) My 25th birthday was the 31st and I was glad baby didn't come on that day because I'm totally against sharing a birthday. August 1st I had an appointment with my midwife to have my membranes stripped. Which was pretty painful and she told me bleeding/cramping were totally normal- I was having both when I left the office. I had been dilated to a 1 for pretty much all of July, and left her office at a full 3 after having my membranes stripped.

Most of the evening I was cramping and it was gradually getting worse. I walked around the block a few times to get my mind off of the period-like cramps I've enjoyed NOT having for the last 10 months. I forgot how painful those suckers are. I started feeling really weird pressure in my bum and went to get in the bath hoping that would help the pain. I felt SO EXHAUSTED and went to bed around 8:30pm and woke up at 11pm with the worst cramps so I got in the bath for a second time. I was tossing and turning in bed so I went to our guest bedroom so I didn't wake up Spencer. That's when I realized my cramps were coming and going- and I started timing them. They were lasting a full minute, and they were exactly 5 minutes apart. I was in full on labor and didn't realize it. My midwife had told me to labor at home for about an hour so I got up and had to walk the hall up and down to keep my mind off the pain. They were slowly getting stronger and stronger. I didn't know what to do so I put my makeup on just in case we left for the hospital. An hour and 20 minutes later I woke up Spencer and told him we needed to go. By this time I couldn't walk or talk through my contractions so I asked Spencer to give me a blessing and we loaded up the car to go. 

We arrived at the University of Utah Hospital and got checked in around 2:30am and was at a 5 when they checked me. They had me in a room by 3:00am. My mom and Suzie Bishop our birth photographer showed up shortly after and I almost cried when Jessica my Midwife walked into my room I was so relieved to see her. My contractions were closer and closer together and they were much stronger. Jessica didn't leave my side and helped me through each contraction. I was feelin' good when she checked the monitors and told me I was having the strongest contractions on the floor and I was the only one without an epidural. I was ready for the anesthesiologist to come in anytime and got the epidural right in the middle of a contraction. It was immediate relief. They checked me again and I was an an 8 and things were moving along quickly. My midwife wanted me to rest for a while so everyone left to go grab food as I dozed off. I was sleeping when I felt baby kick, and heard a sound just like a water balloon popping. My water broke! I called Spencer and everyone came back up to my room. Around 8:45am they started prepping everything so I could start pushing which gave me a pretty good anxiety rush. I couldn't believe this was real life. 

My mom left the room and I started pushing at 9:00am. They would say "TWO PUSHES" And I would ask if I could do 3 or 4. I was feeling so good and I'm the weirdo that enjoyed laboring. Spencer was by my side and kept making sure I was drinking water and the nurses were so encouraging. We would laugh and joke in between contractions and I was getting so excited. They immediately told me to stop pushing and she took my temperature. They discovered my blood pressure was going up and so was baby's- I had correo infection and it was passing to baby Mack. They put an antibiotic in my IV line and told me they would probably need to take Mack to the Nursery as soon as possible. I wanted to delay cord clamping and do chest to chest with baby and they told me we wouldn't be able to do that, which was fine as long as Baby was taken care of. I could start pushing again. 

The Nurses said "THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT" and I knew they could see him. They told me he had lots of hair and I started crying. It had been 9 months of me feeling baby grow, watching my belly grow, feeling him kick, and the fact that the nurse could actually see him made this all so real. Spencer pulled out his phone and put on  the song "Here comes the Sun" and thought it was SO funny. The nurses totally got a kick out of it and he was pretty pleased. The nurses were all standing by as pediatrics came in and got ready to take baby. The nurses all got suited up and put gloves on and told me to do two more big pushes and I felt baby come out! Immediate pressure relief and at 10:05am THERE WAS MY BABY!! Seeing your baby for the first time is something I can't describe. It's so incredible. 

They quickly put Mack on my chest to warm him up and get him crying before they handed him off to pediatrics to immediately get an IV line for antibiotics and blood tests done since I had correo. Correo is where the small amount of amniotic fluid that I shared with  Mack was somehow infected, you don't know you have it until you start labor, and my temperature was gone- along with the correo as soon as baby came out. I sent Suzie and Spencer to the Nursery with Mack and my mom came in to keep me company. I had a level 3 tear that was pretty awful- they said they've never seen it happen to anyone before and the chances of me tearing the way I did are extremely rare. I'll spare you the dirty details. They had to bring an OR Doctor down to stitch me up which took about 2 hours. They were also concerned about my blood loss and started measuring everything to make sure I wasn't hemorrhaging. I did hemorrhage unfortunately and was feeling pretty weak the rest of the night. 

I was wheeled to a room in the postpartum unit and they wheeled baby around the corner and I was so excited to finally be with him again! The rest of our hospital stay was a little hectic with my meds every 4-6 hours, they would come in and make me walk around and help me to the bathroom every 2 hours, try to help me feed Mack every 4 hours, and they would come in to flush Mack's IV about every 4 hours, and take him to the Nursery for antibiotics every 4 hours. All of which = no sleep. Spencer was drained but some sort of no-sleep-mom-super power kicked in for me. 

We had lots of visitors, I had a bit of a rough time in the hospital which is a whole separate post, and we finally got word Monday afternoon we could be released and Mack could come with us! They were worried they might have to keep him there another week. We packed up the car and headed home- the saying is true- there really is no place like home. 
And we started our life as a little family. 

Thanks to everyone for the encouraging texts, phone calls, visits,  and meals. 
We have an awesome support system and we are so lucky.
Here are some of the pics from Mack's Birth- thanks to Suzie Bishop Photography. 
These are such a treasure to me. 



































Baby Mackson born August 2nd 2014
10:05 am 
7 lbs 10 oz. 20 inches long

Welcome to the World Baby Mackson 
We love you so much!
XOXO 

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Blue Floral

I'm really running out of clothing options quickly.
My maternity pants are so uncomfortable I could scream, so it's very likely I'm in either a skirt or leggings. Preferably leggings since it's really hard for me to shave my legs right now.
 
BUT. I made an exception this week.
I got this skirt from Agnes & Dora and I love the bright colors!
The band at the top is perfect because it's super wide so I've been able to wear it through this whole pregnancy.. and no, it's not a maternity skirt! I love how long it is & it's extremely comfortable.
 

 This thing is gettin laaarggeee!
 
My blue ruched top is from Pea in The Pod, my shoes are Dolce Vita & my cobalt blue handbag is Michael Kors.
 
XOXO

Monday, July 28, 2014

40 Weeks

Today's the day.
July 28th. My official due date!
 
July 28th, I've waited for you to come for 40 weeks.. and now you're here.. and you've {so far} got nothing to offer me.
 
I can't believe I'm 40 weeks pregnant today!
I also can't believe I still don't have a baby!
 
I've been waking up some most days pretty upset about it. Maybe it's just because my joints are starting to hurt, my hips are becoming sore, my belly is weighing me down, and my bones crack literally every time I roll over in bed. I'm tired.
My maternity pants are miserably uncomfortable (yes, even with the stretchy band..) And my clothes that buttoned last week no longer button. I may or may not have cried on the floor of my closet. And by that, I mean I did actually cry. Like a lot. Then I took a nap. Crying while you're pregnant is exhausting.
 
We spent our Pioneer Day Holiday weekend (that's a real thing my friends..) not making plans because we thought FOR SURE this little dude would be here any second. We did attend a block party that was fun and really nice to meet some of our neighbors.
 
I went on a "last-girls-luncheon" with my mom and sister. We really just needed a reason to go to the new Corner Bakery in Bountiful. Which I'm pretty excited about. Merely for their mini chocolate bundt cakes.
 
Since Mack's car seat didn't fit in either one of our cars, Spencer and I got a "mom and dad" car.. Which I'm really excited about.. a new {well, new to us..} Nissan Altima. It's a beauty and it starts with a push of a button. It's even got a cd player in the dash. Which is pretty amazing considering my lovely VW Cabrio had a cassette player. Not even kidding. You guys, even the windows roll up and down. This car is quite the luxury upgrade. And we love it.
 
 
Spencer & I went on a date night to Johnny Rocket's and ate ice cream while we watched the fountain show at Station Park. It was slightly crazy to think it may have been our last date night together without a little nugget to worry about!
This look on my face is slightly desperate. I'm a planner. And not knowing exactly when Mack is arriving gives me some serious heartburn.
 
Anyways, Spencer asked me the other night if my water could break in the middle of the night. I told him yes, it could happen any second. When I went to get into bed I heard "schlclshelchlh" and realized something wasn't quite right...
This is the moment I realized Spencer placed a large garbage bag underneath the fitted sheet. You know, JUST in case.... hahahahahahah
so awesome.
 
Well folks, Happy due date to me.
Hopefully this babe will be here soon. It feels like it will never happen.
 
XOXO

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Little Man is Cozy.

You guys, I've tried so hard this past week to get this baby out since Spencer is home and the house is put together.
 
I went on multiple walks throughout the day
I used a little extra energy walking up and down the stairs at the house
did 45 full squats
ate 2 pineapples
drove on rocky roads
did jumping jacks
bounced on the birthing ball
put an extra skip in my step
walked major flights of stairs
......
 
Nothing worked. Obviously.
Now here I am, 39 weeks pregnant and no sign of baby.
But I've had enough pineapple even the smell could make me sick, and my legs have never been so sore from doing so many squats. It's certainly been a while..
 
I had my weekly appointment with my midwife and I haven't dilated at all since she last checked me three weeks ago. I was having THE WORST braxton hicks contractions, about
8-9 an hour that were pretty intense, but still weren't painful.
Now I'm having zero.
 
Look tiny dude, I'm a little scared too.
I've never been a mom before, and this world is kinda crazy.
But I'm ready for you anytime now. And I promise you'll be safe.
I will mess up along the way, but I'll try my hardest to be a good mom and I'll love you no matter what.
 
In the mean time, I'm trying to be patient..
 
XOXO
 


Tuesday, July 22, 2014

A Sigh of RELIEF

I am so relieved and have felt such a huge burden lifted off my shoulders since Spencer got back home from North Dakota. I get so bummed when he's gone, it's much nicer having him close.
 
We accomplished SO much this past weekend and got completely moved into our new house! The weekend consisted of moving boxes, cleaning our apartment, sleeping at our new place for the FIRST time, putting food in our fridge, parking in our very own garage, installing the new front load washer and dryer, hanging things on the walls, finishing the nursery, trying to convince Winston it was safe to come out of his cage, and trying to convince baby boy it's okay to come out anytime now. We used an oven for the first time in like 6 months (apartment oven broke..) ate pizza & watched a movie. Perfect.
 
It's been so much fun putting the place together exactly how we want it. We went over to our apartment on Sunday to grab a few last things we left there and I started to cry as I walked through checking closets and drawers. It was so bittersweet to leave that place. We've had trouble with neighbors and have wanted to get out of there soo bad.. but at the same time we have so many memories there. The first two years of our marriage are in that little apartment, our first place together!
 
We discovered the baby car seat doesn't fit in my car. Like... at all..
Not sure why I didn't think to check it a few months ago- I assumed it would fit just fine, obviously. WRONG. so.. now we are in the process of looking for a car. Lovely.
 

 

We couldn't convince Winston to walk on the tile.. he HATES it. So as we were unpacking boxes Spencer broke them down and laid them out on the floor to make a pathway from his cage to the carpet in the living room. He slowly checked it out and hopped back and forth on the cardboard. We're going to leave it down forever.
Just kidding.
 
We've still got lots of updates. But for now, stuff is coming along just lovely.
We are so excited and have felt so lucky.
 
XOXO


Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Gifts for L&D Nurses

I've seen so many cute things on Pinterest about having little gifts for the Labor & Delivery Nurses and I think that's such a great idea!
 
I don't know if you read Dear Person Reading This blog.. {if not, you totally should..}
But she posted something really cute that she did for her nurses too and it really got me thinking about it! You can find her post HERE.
 
I wanted to do something super simple because, really.. it's just going to be another thing for me to remember to bring to the hospital. And as much as I like to be organized & prepared.. once labor starts or my water breaks, I can't guarantee that in my full panic mode, I'll remember these things. So simple is good.
 
I found this picture on Pinterest and loved it.
 
I traced it from Pinterest back to the lovely Taryn over at Design, Dining + Diapers
I LOVE it when people have printables because I have zero idea how to make anything even remotely close to that.
 
I printed a bunch of these cute labels and decided to buy candy + goodies. I LOVE her idea for the mini mason jar complete with the burlap top, twine and salt water taffy, but unfortunately I do not have time for that right now.
 
Here's how my version turned out:
 
 
I figured if people are going to put up with me & help us out while I'm hysterically crying calmly delivering a baby, they deserve a sweet treat. ;)
 
XOXO