Mackson is 3 Months Old

 

Baby Mackson is 3 months old.

(I'm really behind writing this, considering he turned 3 months old on November 2nd)

 

Mackson is the best baby, I don't know what I did to luck out like I have.

Mack still loves the tub! When he's crying or tired but it's too early for him to go to bed, I will turn the water on in the bathtub and he immediately stops crying. No matter how tired he is, he would rather be in the bath than sleep. He splashes so cute, and looks shocked when the water hits him in the face and grins that big gummy smile that just kills me.

 

He also loves showers. I was in the shower one night and he was crying with Spencer. Spencer brought him in the bathroom and he heard the water and calmed right down. We stripped him down nakey boy and put him in the shower with me and he LOVED IT!

 

Sucking on his little hands are still his favorite thing. It's been really fun to watch him discover his hands more and more everyday. If they aren't in his mouth, his tiny hands are trying to hold his bottles, or he touches my arm softly as I'm feeding him. He's been good at holding things like his little pacifiers, his little blankets, my fingers while he falls asleep, and it's the most adorable thing ever when he holds his own hand.

 

He's still wearing newborn clothes, but he only fits into Carter's brand because he's soo long. Any of his 0-3 month clothes drown him, and I'm excited for him to grow a little bit so we can utilize the rest of the cute clothes in his closet. His little belly is rounding out and his tiny legs have gotten so long!

 

His favorite face is his "surprised face" he opens his mouth as far as he can and takes a big breath in and sighs. The last few weeks he has been making the cutest kissy lip face, and his favorite noise to make is "kkkkkkkkkkk" over and over. The last few days he's discovered he knows how to spit. Spencer thinks it's hilarious, so I have a feeling that one will be around for a while.

 

He loves talking and making noises, but if I record him and play it back to him he gets SO EXCITED. He will kick so hard, coo, and wave his arms around. His favorite thing is the mirror, and loves looking at the cute baby in the reflection.

 

He's lost most of his hair and I love it. I love his almost-bald head, even though I loved his full head of hair previously. For now, I like him bald.

 

Mack is a trooper with our abrupt schedule change since I've had to go back to work. He sleeps through the night, wakes up to eat, is such a good boy in the car driving to my mom's house, and sleeps again once he's in his crib there. I couldn't ask for a happier baby waking up at 4 to eat, and again at 6 to leave the house. It makes the start of my day so much easier.

 

Mack still doesn't love tummy time, it wears him right out. It's exhausting being a baby. If he's having a hard time falling asleep, tummy time does the trick. He's got such a strong little neck considering he could hold it up as a newborn. He's so aware of what's around him and will look side to side, up and down.

 

I love it when we are driving in the car and I look in the little mirror he has by his car seat. Sometimes we'll make eye contact and he just smiles so big.. It's made me get all teary a few times. He definitely knows who his mama is.

 

He has a special love for his grandma who watches him during the day. He's absolutely goo-goo-gah-gah for her and It makes my heart so happy. He also loves his pink gma great, and great papa. Papa pokes Mackson's belly and says, "You're a good baby! You're a good baby!" and Mackson smiles SO BIG!

 

We've almost got him to belly laugh, but not quite. He squeaks just a little bit but stops right before the big laugh happens. I've tried everything. Until it happens, I'll just keep looking silly trying.

 

It's been so fun to watch him grow and be more aware of what's going on around him. I'm soo blessed to be his mom, and I honestly couldn't ask for a better baby. When people at work say, "How are you waking up in the night with a baby and making it to work in the morning?!" People are shocked when I tell them he's been sleeping through the night since about 8 weeks. I've been told multiple times to never have more kids because they'll never be as good as Mackson hahah

 

I often miss being pregnant. Okay, every single day I miss being pregnant. But the joys this tiny tot brings me are incredible.

Thanks for being my little buddy, Mack.

Mama loves you!

 

XOXO

Great Papa

Growing up I spent lots of time with my grandparents gma Renee and grandpa Lew, otherwise known as Pink Gma and Papa. My pink Gma got her nickname because she's always so pink. She uses her pink lipstick and rubs it on her cheeks and smears it around for blush, it's adorable. I don't think I've ever seen my pink Gma without pink lipstick on.. I guess it's kinda her trademark.

The last few years my papa has been so sick. He smoked for years and years (and somehow managed to hide it until my mom told me as an adult) he's had multiple heart surgeries, many of which the doctors told him he had a slim chance of surviving them. I can't tell you how many times pink Gma has called to say "you might want to come visit tonight.. I don't think he will make it through the night" ...somehow he always seems to pull through because years later he's still kickin! He's stubborn, He's extremely weak, and has spells where he can't see, can't walk or talk, and doctor after doctor can't figure out what's wrong. He's had quite a few really nasty falls which have landed him in the ER in the middle of the night and he's always bruised up which has pretty much confined him to his bed. 

Rewind to last November when I found out I was pregnant, and my due date on Papa's birthday! Spencer and I planned on telling our families at Christmas but we were so worried papa wouldn't make it to Christmas. Papa and I spent lots of time together and I was laying on his bed with him one night when he started crying and told me how hard it is to get old. How he hates not being independent and he enjoys being able to watch his kids and grandkids grow up. He then told me how much he wanted to see me have kids and be a mother. Little did he know I was weeks away from breaking the news to him. I visited with him almost everyday and watched his health closely in case we needed to tell him before Christmas. 

On Christmas Day we told my family we were expecting a little peanut. Papa was so happy he cheered and clapped his hands and waved his cane around. It was perfect! Papa loved watching my belly grow and told me he had never seen a more beautiful pregnant woman. {which really meant a lot after hearing pink Gma say "wow you are getting LARGE AND ROUND Aren't you!!"} Papa would laugh and laugh when I would call his name from the other room and poke just my large belly far enough around the door frame for him to see it. He would put his hands on my big belly and feel Mack kick and tell me how excited he was to meet him. 

When I had Mack and took him over to meet papa and Pink Gma for the first time I walked in with tiny baby in his carrier and papa just cried and cried. He laughed like I had never heard him laugh and he clapped his hands over and over. I had never seen him so happy! He calls me often during the week to see how the baby is doing and tells me "Mack has the prettiest perfect round head!!" The love that Mack's great Papa and Great Pink Gma have for him makes me so happy. I never met my great grandparents and the pictures I have of Mack with His are so special to me, and hopefully they will be just as special to him. 

It sucks seeing your loved ones grow older and struggle with everyday tasks. I'm SO happy and so thankful Mack has met them and gets to spend lots of time visiting. 

family love is such a special, beautiful thing.

 XOXO 

Mackson is 2 Months Old

My Baby is 2 months old as of yesterday... is this freaking real life? 

I can't believe how fast time has gone.. and I could cry when I realize how soon I'll be going back to work. Boo! 

Mackson is such a good boy! This past week he discovered his tongue and sticks it out lots. 

He eats every 3 hours on THE. DOT. 

He's been sleeping around 8-9 hours at night! {which makes me feel like a new woman!} he hates nap time right now.. Hopefully that phase doesn't last long. 

He wakes up SO happy and loves being held by mom. 

In the mornings after he eats he likes to be in his swing in the kitchen to watch bunny winston hop around. 

He decided he loves bath time and I might soon regret teaching him how to splash water everywhere. 

He loves to coo and squeak and sigh. He tries hard to laugh but it comes out more like a big deep squeaky breath. He will get it down soon enough. 

He likes to suck on his fingers which now makes for lots of slobbery onesies! 

Today he has his 2 month check up and cried the whole time. He weighs in at a whopping {haha} 8 lbs 13 oz which puts him in the 3rd percentile. 

He is now 22 inches long and in the 26tg percentile. Tiny baby! 

He hated his shots {who doesn't hate shots..} and has been sleepy and cuddly ever since his appointment. 

We love this ITTY bitty baby so much and can't believe how fast time is flying by! 

XOXO

Baby Mack's Newborn Photos

Yeah, Yeah, I know.. 

I'm only almost two months late posting these.. But it's better late than never, I say. 

He's so cute and round in these photos! I can't believe how much his face has slimmed down because he's so LONG now! Anyways, soak in his cuteness everyone!!

{even though he cried from the minute our cute photographer Catie Pilkington showed up, she got some great shots in between cries. This is also why I'm in these pictures. If I would have known I'd have to comfort baby to have his picture taken, I probably would have dressed cuter, but whatever.}

XOXO

Success is..

The first day we were home with Mack after the hospital, I woke up and got ready like usual. Makeup done, hair brushed, and got dressed like usual. The only difference from before, it was just a little off-routine. I woke up a little bit more tired, it took just a little longer to get dressed with healing stitches, there was a baby-feeding session half way through my makeup, and we were a few minutes late out the door because I saw my postpartum belly in the mirror and literally got sick. I watched myself in the mirror go white as a ghost as I wondered if I would ever feel normal again. 

7 weeks later, here I am. Still wondering if I will ever feel completely normal and human again. A body goes through so many changes and your life gets flipped completely upside down when you have a baby. The one thing that made me feel human while in the hospital, and afterwards up to this point.... Is putting on my makeup. My hair may be a tangled mess or thrown up into a messy bun, my clothes probably have spit up on the shoulder, and I probably haven't shaved my legs in a week, but I can walk by a mirror and feel decent because I at least took 8 minutes for myself to put makeup on. And I feel better. 

My version of a successful day is makeup done, dressed for the day, beds made (why is it that life feels so much more in order when your bed is made?) kitchen cleaned, dishes done, pillows upright on the couch, laundry done, everything orderly in the nursery, Garbage taken out, a happy bathed baby wearing clean clothes, dinner planned out, mailbox checked... I think you get the point.. I feel totally out of order when these things aren't done. 

Those are homemade pumpkin chocolate chip cookies on the stove. That's me making pasta dinner with a cheese sauce from scratch, and that's a happy sleeping baby on the front of me. I'm dressed, my makeup is done, and I was feeling so successful. 

On the other hand, I often need to remind myself what success is. I remind myself it's okay that my hair is frizzy, or that I have the same shirt on as I did yesterday. The couch pillows might not be orderly and ya know what- I didn't make the bed today. I may have had a screaming unhappy baby all day that I catered to rather than doing the dishes or baking cookies from scratch. In fact, I may be starving and realize I forgot to eat breakfast and lunch. I need to remember that sometimes it's okay that I'm still in my sweatpants when Spencer gets home and I've left the dishes in the sink because that's not what defines a successful day. 

A successful day is waking up and loving my child. I may not have my to-do list done, but I've changed multiple diapers, fed baby 8-10 times a day, wrapped him up tight and rocked him to sleep when he was upset. I've kissed him a few extra times and I let him sleep in my arms even when they were tingly and numb from not moving for so long. I've taken a deep breath and smelled fresh baby, and thought to myself I hope I never forget what he smells like. I've admired his itty bitty fingers and toes and perfect little ears. We've cooed and talked about our days and I got a big gummy smile when we made eye contact.. 

Today I spent a little extra time taking it all in.. Because Mack isn't going to be tiny forever. I've spent my day loving him, and that means I was successful. 

Comfort

This morning Mack and I woke up routinely for me to feed him. Afterwards he laid on my chest for a few minutes before I went to put him in his crib to sleep. He was fed, had a clean diaper on, had been burped and was already smothered with at least 50 kisses already.. But he was crying and crying. I tried to rock him and sing to him.. I turned his noise maker up just a little bit higher with no success in calming him down. I gave him his favorite pacifier and he wanted nothing to do with it. Feeling like I was running out of options I set him back in his crib with him wrapped up tight in his swaddle and left the room to let him cry. This is not unusual for me to do for his morning nap as I'm trying to get him to learn to self soothe a little bit better since I feel that's vital with me going back to work sooner than I would like. Typically I set him down all swaddled up tight and go to get ready for the day. He's usually fast asleep before I can even make it though doing my makeup but today was different. I was ready for the day with my makeup done, teeth brushed, hair fixed and still had a long list of things I wanted to accomplish around the house.. But the desperate cries I heard from the nursery were pulling at my heart strings as I thought "he just wants to be comforted." I walked to his crib and almost immediately his cries calmed just a little bit. I picked him up, held him close to me and started rocking him back and forth. He instantly fell asleep and looked so peaceful. All he wanted was to be comforted. 

This got me thinking about my own life and I thought of the scripture that says "I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you." It's incredible to me looking back over the last 6 weeks I've had Mack, and how many times I've felt like I was failing, I have felt so inadequate, and have occasionally just felt like crying for reaching the end of my rope. And EVERY TIME I've suddenly felt calm and powered through. I would love to take the credit for just merely realizing I'm doing an okay job, I'm succeeding and my energy is self renewed, but I completely know that's not true. Having small bits of faith in myself have helped I'm sure, but ultimately I can look back and give 100% credit to The Lord for never, not once leaving me comfortless. I often take blessings for granted and fall asleep at night without expressing my gratitude. I owe my days to Him and as I write this I have the most perfect bundle in my arms as a reminder that I am never left comfortless.. That I am blessed beyond what I deserve and I can only comprehend how much I am loved by Him through the love I have as a mother. 

"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."