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Thursday, October 18, 2012

Some Things I've Learned

I've been Employed by the same Company for 5 1/2 years.
Throughout those 5 years I've moved up, held different positions & I've certainly learned a few things along the way.
Some things in life are questionable.
These things, however, are NOT..
-If you are over 13 years old, it is not okay to wear pigtails in your hair.
The Exception: you are dressing up as daisy duke for Halloween.
In THAT case, pigtails are pretty hot.
But this isn't fantasy land people, this is REAL LIFE.
-If you spill something, you BETTER clean it up yourself.
 I am not your maid. I'm also not your mother.
The Exception: You are two years old or younger.
But my friends, If you are in my building for lunch, you are not two & if you are, you have your mother to clean up after you.
-Sandals and toe socks together are NOT okay.
you see Ladies and gentlemen, these things on their own are wonderful.
Together? Just don't do it. Please.
The Exception: There isn't one.
My husband will argue socks/sandals are okay. He is wrong.
-Sometimes it's OKAY to use common sense.
See, most of us use this on a daily basis.
I'd like to think EVERYONE uses this all the time. Unfortunately it's not true. I've come to learn there are very few people that have common sense! It's hard to come by these days. It's more of a talent now..
If you made a stop at the soda machine, got a drink & put a lid on your cup... you'll be safe assuming the straws are very near. In fact, you probably reached over the straws to grab that lid you just put on your cup.
Don't ask me where the straws are.
The Exception: You are blind and you have a cool walking stick.
-Ladies: Please conceal your ladies!
The amazing lady Mary Phelps Jacob created a little thing we call the BRA back in 1913. For this invention, I consider sweet Mary a genius.
The bra was invented for a reason- wear it.
The Exception: You were born before 1913. If this is your case and you're still living- you should be in a museum. The other exception is you are still waiting to hit puberty.

-It's best to keep your mouth shut.
I've had MORE inconsiderate people walk up to me and voice their opinion about my clothes, or my hair.. whatever.
Someone told my sister this week her sweater was "extremely tacky" ...when really it was darling. Or when my hair was pulled up into a really cute messy bun and someone randomly walks in my office and says, "UHH WOW... THAT'S QUITE THE DOO..!!"
I'm shocked at the lack of respect and tact people have- especially towards COMPLETE STRANGERS! I certainly know better than to prance into your office to tell you your jeans don't fit right, or your makeup looks crappy. BECAUSE IT'S RUDE.

The Exception: You are going to open your mouth to say something nice.

"If you can't say something nice.. keep your mouth shut"
-the great words of Mikell

-You are not entitled because you have a doctor's coat on.
If you treat me poorly because I'm "just have an office job" you've got something else coming to you. You are no better than I am, just because you went to school to become a doctor. You may be smarter, but not better. Step off your high horse.
Or jump off and break your ankle. Either way.
Regardless of your job title, keep in mind I AM a human being with feelings. I have family- just like you do! I have things I love- just like you do. I have things and people I care about- just like you do. See? We are more alike than you thought!
The Exception: you train unicorns for a living. In that case, you really are better than I am. And you have every right to feel entitled.

-if you don't have money, you don't get food.
Shocking, we see this ALL THE TIME.
I've stood at the register in complete disbelief when someone says "oh well I don't have enough money" ....okay.. then PUT SOMETHING BACK.
WOULD YOU EVER go to the grocery store and be like.. "oh. sorry. Welp.. my groceries are all bagged and I'm $14.00 dollars short so THANKS for taking care of this for me!"
If it's not okay to do at the grocery store, it's not okay to do at a restaurant.
..Or anywhere else for that matter!!

As you can see,
I'm pretty passionate about all of these things.
And all of them put me in a bad mood.
Believe it or not, this list is a mile long. But I'll stop here.

I'm glad I got to share some of the things I've learned along the way with this job of mine. Maybe by reading a few of these things you've spared yourself getting punched in the face.

Have a lovely day everyone.


  1. i love this post i love this post i love this post.
    and i have zero idea what you do for a living. restaurant/office worker? regardless. i love it.
    as for keep your mouth shut- when i was in college i'd been searching around for a job for MONTHS. and i finally got an AMAZING one that paid SUPER well and i'd get my very own cubicle and i was doing some awesome stuff. and when i excitedly told my roommate all about it she said "that sounds like it sucks. did you accept the offer?? cuz i'm sure you could apply for my job. i'm about to become shift leader"
    hm. how about you keep your mouth shut and go back to work where you clean airplane toilets for a living. so. sometimes people are on a high horse when they clean toilets for a living and they should jump off and break their ankles. or something.

    1. Bethany-
      WHAT THE HECK is with people!?
      I would have been SO bummed if my roomate said that to me. I would have responded with, "wow. you're such a nice friend" haha I don't even know what I would have said really!

      Most of the time instead of saying something mean BACK which I would LOVE to do.. and I think of some pretty good things to say in my head. Instead I'll do the "ha.." courtesy laugh. I think they get the point after that.

      Some people's kids... I die!

  2. Hilarious! I loved reading this!

  3. Most of these I agreed with 100%...except I still where my hair in pig tails - what can I say, I like them! and they help control my white girl fro which is BADLY needed.

  4. hahah too funny! i actually agree on every single one of these!

    found the route

  5. oh this has to be the funniest post i have ever read! thanks for the laugh and i agree totally 100 percent! newest follower!

  6. Love this.
    Conceal your ladies! :)
    Man, I can't wear pigtails. People already think I look 12, that would just... it wouldn't end well.

  7. hahah, i LOVE feisty mikell. she's the greatest. but really. this MADE my day!


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