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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Girl Time

Today's post is about something I think is important for a healthy marriage.
Often times I read posts about how important it is to spend quality time with our Husbands.
But what about spending quality time with friends??
I am a FIRM believer that marriage, as well as serious relationships, are not about giving things up, but making compromises.
(Now this rule doesn't go for all things. Obviously we have to/need to give some things up..)
But why should friends be one of them?
Ladies, do not give up your girl time!
(And husbands do not give up your guy time!!)
I would never ask my husband to give up time with his friends.
I think healthy relationships are all about BALANCE, in all aspects.
Spencer and I have learned to balance our lives extremely well.
As most of you know, Spencer and I spent the last year of us dating, and first 4 months of marriage living in different places- hours apart. We spent about a week a month together with his work schedule.
This was clearly not your typical newlywed marriage status.
BUT we made it work. I had loads of time on my hands when Spencer was away for work. Friend time, family time.. you name it.
When Spencer was here our time was spent together, still making an effort once during that week to go on a double date and spend a night with family.
Once Spencer moved home permanently we had major adjustments to do.
We were used to spending every waking minute together since we were used to only having a week together. Soon we learned that we needed that balance & healthy time apart!
If my girlfriends call me up to do a girl's night I will still check with Spencer's schedule and try to coordinate around that, as he does with my schedule.

I've been in unhealthy relationships where I LITERALLY had NO friends. My life and time was dictated for me. Once those relationships ended and I had my friends back.. I can't explain to you the wave of relief I felt inside.
What are your opinions on having your girl time?
Whether it's a quick lunch or a weekend away!
How do you coordinate your friend time with your husbands?
I would love your input!


  1. since i had just moved out to utah and josh had just gotten home from his mission, we really were each others only friends. i love it because we are best friends and don't have to worry about scheduling or anything. my problem is when he IS busy (like right now when he's in school) and i wish i had taken the time to get to know girls when i moved out here. i was just too busy with him! but once he's done with school and we're back to being with each other 24/7 i probably won't care at all anymore haha cuz honestly even when i do hang out with the few girls i'm friends with out here, i really wish i were with him... sad but true.

  2. I 100% agree with having "girl time" regularly! Friendships are so important and there are some things your husband just doesn't understand that your girlfriends can completely relate to. Thanks for sharing this post!

  3. I love this. I actually believe in girl time for sure. I love my husband and hate to leave him but every once in awhile, he will leave to go to a job and I'll schedule some girl time. I think guy time is important too!

    amanda @ we and serendipity

  4. I don't get a lot of girl time with my besties because we all got married at the same time and suddenly our schedules went from living together and spending 24 hours a day with each other to going in completely opposite directions. but lately we have been getting together because another one just got married so we had bachelorette parties and bridal showers and of course the big day and another is having a baby so there have been baby showers. So it hasn't exactly been like, a bonified "girl's night" but being able to hang with them again is amazing. and it gives landon and me something to talk about other than, "how was work?" "good, you?" "good."
    firm believer in girl time.

  5. Oh, I definitely believe in girls night out.

  6. Good advice :) I need more girls in SA to hang with!

  7. I definitely believe it is important to spend time with your girls. No matter if you are married or in a relationship, because it keeps you sane. Your time together is precious, but too much of it is unhealthy. Plus I do not know how I could make it through months without my girl time. Come on its not like your special someone really wants to go shopping, have pedi's, and see the mushy movies with you... all the time.! Girls night regularly is a necessity in my mind.

  8. New follower here. What a great post! I definitely think "you" time is essential to a healthy marriage. Even with the addition of our little girl this year we still make sure (besides our very important date nights together) that each of us has adequate "you" time.

    Xo, B


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